I am coming to realize that I must be in one of those seasons that inspired the old phrase "sitting on go".
I feel like I am almost ready to burst forth out of this lovely season of life into the next exciting season, but I see that I do have a bit more work to do here at home until my last 2 "arrows" are fully sharpened and straight enough to fly to their target.
I'm so close that I can see that horizon just around the corner. A few years ago I would have mourned this season of life. I was so full of babylust that I couldn't stand the thought of not having babies around the house all the time. Not that it's the same thing, it's a totally different season of course, but someday there will likely be grand-babies to tote and love on.
I'm also quite sure there will be 2 sons-in-love and maybe even another daughter-in-love to add to our family. I see G-d is unfolding some plans and I'm excited yet curious to find out how HE is going to play out this next act of the play I find myself in.
For now, with the answer to the question I posed recently, I think there is some considerable evidence that G-d is laying out a path for me for the future and saying "Not Yet. The opportunity will come and it will be effortless when the doors are opened for the new ventures."
The signal I received from every person I've consulted over my last post is something along the lines of "proceed with great caution and seek out G-d's will in this decision, too." (i.e., In a multitude of counselors is much wisdom.)
For now, I think He's laying out an excellent opportunity for me to "have my cake and eat it, too". I can work from home, make a very nice part time income and hone that resume a bit
more. The out-of-the-home opportunities are going to be there when I am absolutely sure I am supposed to step out of the home. Until then God is providing a nice income which I can earn while still teaching the girls from home. May G-d forbid, but if I should need to earn an income due to Jim being lost to accident or some other unforseen event such as not being able to work, I could still keep our home and make headway on those future plans while staying home where I'm still needed.
The "little women" are almost done but not quite, with formal schooling. Liz is about 10-11 months from being completely finished with high school. Tori has now decided that she wants to get the formal schooling out of the way as soon as she possibly can so she can start her heart's desire, culinary school. That is 2 years off due to her age, so we are going to fill in this time getting them really prepared for the essential things while finishing up the book work that's also needed.
We have a few more building blocks to finish, G-d is laying out some plans for both of them and the reason it's not time to have them fly the nest is quite obvious. They're not yet everything they can be with just a little more training and instruction. Oh yes, they'd do quite well if (once again, G-D forbid!!) some illness or accident were to take both of us parents ahead to Glory, thankfully G-d obviously has more for us to do in training and preparing them for the wonderous future He has planned.
I know G-d could throw a monkey wrench in the "plans as I see them" anytime He chooses but at this time He seems to have laid out a very unusual path for me that won't require me to leave the family for extended amounts of time. I'm concentrating on the BLESSING in being here for this season. It will end soon enough and I need to have FAITH that HE is preparing the next thing when it's the proper time.
I can continue my studies one class at a time working toward a health care related career (exactly what is yet to be determined) and still earn some money to pay down the bills, the house, pay for cooking lessons and more expenses that go along with having 2 daughters in high school. Next school year (2008-2009) Liz will be a Senior and Tori will be a Freshman. Not yet the time to be away from home as they are still so dear and I know they will need my attention for a few years more to grow into the awesome Christian women G-d has prepared them to become.
I guess that's the end of my assorted ramblings tonight. My eyes are tired and I may edit this tomorrow to be more cohesive, but this gets the general idea across. I'm staying right where I am for at least a short time and will see what G-d lays out for me in the coming months ahead.
HE's got an UNCOMMON life purpose for me. I'm part way through fulfilling a large portion of that purpose and eager to see where the next bend in the road will take me. Following the advice of those wise women who gave me council, I am seeking out that purpose and calling.
I'm reading the Max Lucado book right now, Cure for the Common Life and it's really speaking to where G-d has been leading me in the last 2 years or so.
If you haven't read it yet, be sure to seek it out at the library near you. (Or garage sale, whichever strikes your fancy) I got this one at the local library's for sale cart for just $1.
Yet another example of G-d's providence over every little detail of my life. He is waiting for me to catch on to the themes that He has been weaving through this tapestry that is my life. I just have to keep asking and looking to see what He is trying to teach me.
Because I know HE is faithful to show it to me if I will just keep trying. That's an awesome thing, to realize how HE has planned every detail to care for me and my arrows, too. Just like He has for you and your loved ones.
1 year ago